This is a flick that doesn't come out until the end of the year and damn, I'm super hyped. It was picked up at Sundance this year and ever since the trailer dropped online I've been patiently waiting to see this motherfucking modern day tribute to blaxploitation cinema.

When “The Man” murders his brother, pumps heroin into local orphanages, and floods the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor, Black Dynamite is the one hero willing to fight all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.
It stars Michael Jai White who has a boatload of trashy flicks under his belt. Honestly, all you have to do is take The Dark Knight outta his resume and it's all D-grade cinema. Damn, MJW you a baaaaad mutha.

Check the red band trailer below. Is it just me or does that voiceover dude sound just like Dolemite?

Labels: 70s, 8 track, afro, ass kickin, black, blaxploitation, classic porn, dolemite, funk, gangsta, grindhouse, hoes, honkies, hooker, kung-fu, Pimp, rudy ray moore

Seriously WTF? Hard Ticket To Hawaii is an explosive cocktail of guns, drugs and breasts. It's a deadly combination that everyone must see. Not to mention a soundtrack that is painfully 80's. The cheese factor is off the freakin' charts.

This is the 2nd film of Andy Sidaris' L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies series. There's 12 films in this series based around a team of secret agents. Hot secret agents. Here's Dona Speir (Playboy Playmate March 1984) doing some undercover work.I can go on and on and I will. Nunchucks, ninja stars and chicks with motherfucking ROCKET LAUNCHERS!
Okay, stop what you're doing and watch this quick clip from HTTH titled "Skater's Death" and then feel free to post a comment. Enjoy.

Labels: 80s, action, ass kickin, bad dialogue, hot girl, retarded, sleaze

I finally watched TGP on DVD. I've been waiting for a while to see this and was excited since its directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura. (Make up effects for "The Machine Girl") I wasn't let down. I think he has a future in J-Splatter films and hopefully he continues to make more.

The plot is crazy even for Japanese cinema standards: Set in a future-world vision of Tokyo where the police have been privatized and bitter self-mutilation is so casual that advertising is often specially geared to the "cutter" demographic, this is the story of samurai-sword-wielding Ruka and her mission to avenge her father's assassination. Ruka is a cop from a squad who's mission is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as "engineers" possessing the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself.The flick is influenced by the low budget Herschell Gordon Lewis films of the 60's and 80's David Cronenberg films. One can definitely say there's a bit of Paul Verhoeven's Robocop in there. Along with the obvious influences from its own Japanese culture such as Yokai Monsters. The gore factor gives Peter Jackson's Dead Alive a run for its money. That combo alone should let you know this is some wacked out shit!I'm a big fan of Eihi Shiina from "Audition" fame. She kicks ass and is cool doing it. Nuff said.Normally I like to watch foreign films subtitled not dubbed. The subtitled version usually keeps the experience authentic, but in this case I recommend the dubbed version. The voice over makes this wacky ride even wackier and works well as this flick is so over the top. Almost animated. Either way you should watch the trailer now and buy this DVD. It's worthy of adding to your collection. Also, I'm hearing a prequel is now in the works. YEAH-ER.

Labels: amputee, ass kickin, gore, horror, japanese, mutations

Some people like Stallone, for others Arnold, but I like Bronson. Now a simple post would be anything from the Death Wish series. C'mon, that shit is good...but it ain't Mr. Majestyk.

Written by Elmore Leonard ("Rum Punch" aka "Jackie Brown") so you know it's the real deal and Bronson has some classic lines in this classic piece of film history. Such as:

Bobby Kopas: It ain't sunk into that thick brain of yours yet. See, everything goes a lot easier and a lot less trouble when you're doing business with me. You understand what I'm talking about?
Vince Majestyk: You make sounds like you're a mean little ass-kicker... only I ain't convinced. You keep talking and I'm gonna take your head off.Nancy Chavez: If you want to go to bed with me, why don't you say so?
Vince Majestyk: I don't want to talk about it, I want to do it.

This is some quality shit especially if you're a 70's revenge flick kind of person. Now I understand I like to hype up the trailers I post, but this one is fucking great. Enjoy.

Labels: 70s, action, ass kickin, bronson

Aka "The Dragon Flies." Director Brian Trenchard-Smith ("Stunt Rock") takes my favorite Asian action hero Jimmy Wang Yu and showcases him under this Aussie production with a special appearance by Sammo Hung to boot. Oh yeah, George Lazenby ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service") plays a drug trafficking, gun toting evil son of a bitch with an arsenal of firepower that could take down any motherfucker in his way.

Right off the top this movie kicks ass from the beautiful locations all the way down to the edgy synthed out soundtrack. Even the opening title track called "SkyHigh" is very catchy and fits the pic perfectly. I need this friggin' soundtrack!
Also, it must be noted that the stunts in this movie are hardcore. The car crashes and real looking fight sequences are all wild. One shot in particular, a car blows up and the door comes flying at the cameraman making for a sick shot but was obviously an accident. An accident that could have been deadly. Yeah, that's a nice pic with Jimmy Wang Yu rockin' the full Adidas tracksuit!

Minus a few slow points this Aus-Chopsocky mash up is one to check out, fo' sho. As usual, enjoy the original theatrical trailer - you'll get a good feel from the trailer how crazy these stunts actually are...

Labels: 70s, action, ass kickin, drugs, guns, jimmy wang yu, kung-fu

Aka "Turkish Evil Dead."
This is another crazy Turkish flick which means its not dubbed and its not subtitled. It doesn't matter though. Hell, even if it was subtitled I really don't think it would matter as the scenes jump drastically all over the place. Also, the only reference to Evil Dead would be the camera shots runnin' thru the woods chasing after a man. Those shots do look Evil Dead influenced, but the rest of the flick is all about ninjas jumpin' all over the place and fighting with flimsy looking cardboard swords. In some scenes you can see the trampoline which actors used to create jump effects. It rules.
This movie stars Cuneyt Arkin (Turkish Star Wars) who is considered to be the Turkish Harrison Ford! From what I gathered watching it he plays an inspector that must track down the invisible ninjas that are randomly killin' people. The ninja master is hardcore - he can move rocks with his mind and make them explode. Lucky bastard.Damn, there's so much horrible awesomeness in this Turkish gem I could go on and on. Like when the ninja master turns into a burning rag doll or when the main characters randomly have different clothes on within the same scene. But continuity doesn't matter in the Turkish world and I highly recommend this flick. So go find it! Until that time - enjoy this scene, mofo's!

Labels: ass kickin, evil dead, ninjas, turkish

Aka "Ghetto Warriors"
Watts, CA is a motherfuckin' mess and when some stupid crackers try to run shit...look out cause the Black Gestapo is right there to stick it to the man! Damn, they would not make a flick like this ever again.These militant brothers take control of the ghetto and pull some white bitches to boot. One of which is Uschi Digard of Russ Meyer Supervixens fame. This flick doesn't cheat ya on skin - lots of titties and 70's bush...BAM!

A scene that will stick with ya involves the militant brothers bustin' into the evil honkies home. Then they chop off a certain thing you never want chopped off . Ouch!
The soundtrack is funky - lots of wah-wah guitar n' groovin' basslines. Too bad the DVD I have is in mono and the sound is shitty. Either way it's worth checkin' out - view the original theatrical trailer now cause its way over the top and waaaay badasssssss....

Labels: afro, ass kickin, bitches, black, blaxploitation, crackers, hitler, honkies

I'm slammin' down yet another Enzo G. Castellari (Inglorious Bastards, Great White) directed feature. Why? Cause he's guaranteed to deliver the finest quality Italian trash cinema known to man.
Right next to Bruno Mattei and Antonio Margheriti, of course.

In a post-apocalyptic New York City, a policeman infiltrates the Bronx, which has become a battleground for several murderous street gangs. My homeboy, Fred Williamson, is in the pic along with Vic Morrow. Two classic actors in my humble opinion. Vic was the actor that died in a helicopter accident on the set of Twilight Zone: The Movie. Which happened right after he shot this flick. If John Carpenter's Escape From New York and Walter Hill's The Warriors fucked and had a baby that baby would be The Bronx Warriors. The dialogue is horrendous, the lead character's name is Trash and the cheesy 80's hair-dos make this flick a winner.
Top all this off with a good amount of gore added to the action sequences...what more can I say. Nothing. Here's the original theatrical trailer.

Labels: ass kickin, enzo, john carpenter, rip off, walter hill

Tagline: Kung-fu girls on a rampage! These chicks are tough and damn they're 70's hotties too.
To sum it up: it's hotties vs. grindhouse legend Sid Haig. Can't go wrong with that combo.

The all female Kung-fu army also experiments with brain transplants leading us to the mad scientist and Frakenzombie action! Phew...this is for the 2 am smokers fo' sho.
I also dig on the Aka's for this picture: "Chinese Puzzle," "The Deadly and the Beautiful" & "The Women of Transplant Island." The latter one being my personal fave. Enjoy this sweet trailer which includes some badass narration and funky beats in the background.

Labels: ass kickin, bitches, hoes, hot girl, karate, kung-fu, pot, sex, smoke

Directed by Godfrey Ho - who in my opinion is the Ed Wood of Asian cinema. He has been known to take 2 films, mash them together and create a new film. Cinema genius or lazy bastard? You decide.

Ninja The Protector is essentially the mother of all Godfrey Ho flicks. The main ingredient for Mr. Ho is casting American actor Richard Harrison. Who usually plays the Ninja Master.An Interpol officer (Harrison) is secretly a Ninja Master who must take down a counterfeiting ring and modeling school that is being operated by a cult of Evil Ninjas. Fuck yeah!

The dialogue is so bad - I guarantee you will be in shock. The Ninja outfits are so horrible - think pajamas. And every cheesy 80's Ninja weapon is used. Oh god, just thinkin' about it gives me a tingly sensation in my crotch and now I want to see it again...I love you Godfrey Ho, you're my hero!

Labels: ass kickin, cult, ninjas

This craziness just came out on proper DVD release. So let the silliness begin.

Martial Arts mixed with 80's gymnastics n' cheese makes for an over the top lame premise and that's I'm all about. Damn, I wish my 34 old ass saw at the theatre. That's how I know I'm not perfect.

This dude is a total douchebag. Check it out.It sucks cause I love lame shit and now I gotta drop 20 bucks on this classic trash DVD. But Gymkata rules my boring world...thank god.

Labels: asian, ass kickin, karate

All you gonna do is mix Flashdance, The Exorcist & Enter The Ninja and POOF, you get this flick. An evil ninja attempts to avenge his death from beyond the grave, by possessing an innocent woman's body. This movie is 80's cheese to the max - Like gag me with a spoon!

The opening ninja action sequence is some serious business. Every trick is utilized blow darts, throwing stars, smoke bombs...its incredible. Then you get quality dialogue like: "Only a ninja...can destroy a ninja." & "You fool! You can not stop me! I am the ninja! No one, nothing can stop me!"

Lucinda Dickey (star of "Breakin") gets possessed and puts on the full outfit. Boo-ya!Oh yeah, then there's that ridiculous scene where she is having sex and decides to pour a can of V-8 down her chest which had me ROTFL.

Finally, I'm a big fan of anything released by The Cannon Group. It had to be said. They put out the best 80's shit, fo' sho, and Ninja III is no exception.

Labels: action, ass kickin, ninjas

Kick ass tagline: She purrs like a kitten...makes love like a siren. This side of the pacific, she is the meanest, deadliest and sexiest secret agent.

Directed by Filipino grindhouse master Bobby A. Suarez and starring the attractive Marrie Lee as the top policewoman Cleopatra Wong. Damn, this flick is the bomb with a fucky ass soundtrack!

As you can see by the theatrical poster (which I have framed in my bedroom cause I don't fuck around) this movie has all types of weapons. Guns, shotguns and bow n' arrows and that's freakin' AWESOME.This was followed up by a sequel titled Pay or Die which I'm still tryin' to find a copy of. Also, there's a new one in production now titled Vengeance of Cleopatra Wong. 30 years after the original! I hope they pull it off. In the meantime check out this:

Labels: action, asian, ass kickin, karate, kung-fu

Enter Jim "Dragon" Kelly! It's about time I stepped up n' dropped some afro kung-fu on this site. There's no better way to start than with Jim Kelly. Sure, he made a brief appearance in my last post, Mr. No legs, but Black Belt Jones showcases him nicely.

This suckas also directed by Robert Clouse. The mofo behind Enter The Dragon! And Black Belt Jones' got Scatman Crothers to boot.


It's the typical karate master against the mafia story here. Except here we get the Blaxploitation/ Martial Arts mix. Of course the soundtrack is as funky as a batch of collard greens with butter and a splash of hot sauce. BAM!

Just as you might expect - Mr. Jones kicks ass all up n' down the neighborhood car wash for the grand finale. Nice short-shorts.Yet another classic 70's Blaxploitation trailer with a great voice over...

Labels: 70s, afro, asian, ass kickin, blaxploitation, karate, kung-fu

MOTFG aka the sequel to the One Armed Boxer. Tagline: It's A Mean Machine - Cuts Your Head Off Clean!

That's right, I went for the kill today, you sexy MF's. It's the most classic grindhouse kung-fu flick, period. Written, directed and starring my main man Jimmy Wang Yu (I call him Jimbo) as the One Armed Boxer who must defeat the MOTFG who of course is also blind.

Non stop action, decapitations and the horrible chopsocky style dubbing that we've all grown to love. I won't watch a subtitled version of this. No fucking way.

Below is the Indian dude with really long arms. In fact, a handful of these characters were later ripped off by Capcom for the Street Fighter 2 video game.This sucka hits the gas from frame one and doesn't let the fuck up...so bow down to the original theatrical trailer!

Labels: action, asian, ass kickin, jimmy wang yu, karate, kung-fu

I'll get right to the point as usual. The best part of Chinese Hercules is the Hercules character, Bolo Yeung.

Bolo isn't the star of this movie. One would get confused since he's the main attraction. He isn't in the flick that much, but when he is it's waaay over the top!

A kung fu master (Chen Wei Min) works on a dock where the owner is a real prick. His main henchman is the Chinese Hercules and he a nasty motherfucker. He beats anybody that gets in his way including women! Eventually, the kung fu master decides he must try to fight back.

Yeah, it's gonna take a friggin' log to try and beat down the Chinese Hercules!I'm definitely not steering ya wrong what I say watch this trailer. It's gives ya all the good shit.

Labels: asian, ass kickin, bolo yeung, karate, kung-fu

Five cowgirls live on a ranch with no men. (I know, that's a good start) These cowgirls actually loathe men. They drag them in, steal their loot and often kill for fun! That's right, feminism exploitation style.

Al Adamson directed this sleazefest of a flick. Lon Chaney Jr (raging alcoholic) also co-stars in this and it's worth noting this was his last film. He was wasted for this entire shoot. He can be seen in the trailer below drinking, what else?
Also, this was shot at the Spahn Movie Ranch at the time that it was occupied by the Manson Family. Crazy shit.

Labels: ass kickin, bitches, cult, feminism, sex, sleaze, spaghetti western

The Deadly Spawn aka Return of The Aliens: The Deadly Spawn is an Alien rip-off flick. Actually the producers tried to add "Return" to the title to make it seem like the actual sequel to Alien. Tricky Bastards!

My favorite scene is when a group of old ladies are hanging out having a good time until the little alien babies invade their home and begin to suck their blood like leeches.

These aliens will gnaw your damn head off and spit out your fuckin' skull.This flick is super gory. A must see for any fan of the genre. Luckily, Synapse Films has put out a quality DVD worthy of picking up.

Eventually they take over the small town, growing bigger and bigger...

Labels: alien, ass kickin, blood, chainsaw, crazy, disturbed, horror, rip off

Tagline: "Men call him Savage, women call him all the time!"

Savage is a mercenary played by James Inglehardt, a mercenary with some serious sideburns.

After being charged for a crime he didn't commit, Savage uses his cheesy karate skills and his all female commando squad (led by Carol Speed) to kill the bad guys.

This was helmed by Cirio H. Santiago. This guy has a great grindhouse resume under his belt. He also did T.N.T. Jackson which I reviewed earlier this month.

The soundtrack is definitely funky and there's plenty of nude scenes to boot. (I had to take this pic myself since there's nothing online for this flick!)At one point, Savage makes a molotov cocktail/flamethrower thing that kicks friggin' ass! Warning: cheesy trailer goodness ahead!

Labels: afro, ass kickin, bitches, black, blaxploitation, funk, hoes, karate, kung-fu, soul

I figured what better time than to post a Raiders rip-off? Specifically, an Italian Raiders rip-off. All the Indy-like elements are here: ancient boobytraps, rats, snakes and even a giant rolling stone! Some scenes are shots of miniatures (model train sets) that look like...well, miniatures.

This stars David Warbeck (Fulci's The Beyond) who looks a lot like Roger Moore.

We are stuck in a cave with the wannabe Indy and the wannabe Sallah character as seen in the pic below. The Sallah character rules. He's accidently funny and he has a lazy eye!Overall, this is a fun rip-off if your into the Indy series and looking for a good laugh. Here's the Italian trailer...

Labels: action, antonio margheriti, ass kickin, bad dialogue, Indiana Jones, rip off