Aka "Turkish Evil Dead."
This is another crazy Turkish flick which means its not dubbed and its not subtitled. It doesn't matter though. Hell, even if it was subtitled I really don't think it would matter as the scenes jump drastically all over the place. Also, the only reference to Evil Dead would be the camera shots runnin' thru the woods chasing after a man. Those shots do look Evil Dead influenced, but the rest of the flick is all about ninjas jumpin' all over the place and fighting with flimsy looking cardboard swords. In some scenes you can see the trampoline which actors used to create jump effects. It rules.
This movie stars Cuneyt Arkin (Turkish Star Wars) who is considered to be the Turkish Harrison Ford! From what I gathered watching it he plays an inspector that must track down the invisible ninjas that are randomly killin' people. The ninja master is hardcore - he can move rocks with his mind and make them explode. Lucky bastard.Damn, there's so much horrible awesomeness in this Turkish gem I could go on and on. Like when the ninja master turns into a burning rag doll or when the main characters randomly have different clothes on within the same scene. But continuity doesn't matter in the Turkish world and I highly recommend this flick. So go find it! Until that time - enjoy this scene, mofo's!

Labels: ass kickin, evil dead, ninjas, turkish

Directed by Godfrey Ho - who in my opinion is the Ed Wood of Asian cinema. He has been known to take 2 films, mash them together and create a new film. Cinema genius or lazy bastard? You decide.

Ninja The Protector is essentially the mother of all Godfrey Ho flicks. The main ingredient for Mr. Ho is casting American actor Richard Harrison. Who usually plays the Ninja Master.An Interpol officer (Harrison) is secretly a Ninja Master who must take down a counterfeiting ring and modeling school that is being operated by a cult of Evil Ninjas. Fuck yeah!

The dialogue is so bad - I guarantee you will be in shock. The Ninja outfits are so horrible - think pajamas. And every cheesy 80's Ninja weapon is used. Oh god, just thinkin' about it gives me a tingly sensation in my crotch and now I want to see it again...I love you Godfrey Ho, you're my hero!

Labels: ass kickin, cult, ninjas

All you gonna do is mix Flashdance, The Exorcist & Enter The Ninja and POOF, you get this flick. An evil ninja attempts to avenge his death from beyond the grave, by possessing an innocent woman's body. This movie is 80's cheese to the max - Like gag me with a spoon!

The opening ninja action sequence is some serious business. Every trick is utilized blow darts, throwing stars, smoke bombs...its incredible. Then you get quality dialogue like: "Only a ninja...can destroy a ninja." & "You fool! You can not stop me! I am the ninja! No one, nothing can stop me!"

Lucinda Dickey (star of "Breakin") gets possessed and puts on the full outfit. Boo-ya!Oh yeah, then there's that ridiculous scene where she is having sex and decides to pour a can of V-8 down her chest which had me ROTFL.

Finally, I'm a big fan of anything released by The Cannon Group. It had to be said. They put out the best 80's shit, fo' sho, and Ninja III is no exception.

Labels: action, ass kickin, ninjas

It's time to go new school on y'all asses. Yep, thats right, we got some grind coming out in the '08 straight outta Japan.

The Machine Girl has gore, ninjas, chainsaws, a flying guillotine and (a cinema first) drill bra! It's a thing of beauty and it's part of the new wave Japanese splatter punk revolution.

This is a classic revenge film where the protagonist wears a schoolgirl uniform, has a machine gun for an arm and the viewer gets an occasional panty shot. Need I say more?

When the blood sprays in this flick - it sprays so much you'd think the production crew must have worn raincoats. Fuck, why does America get stuck with bullshit torture porn Saw films? Maybe its time to move to Japan.Okay, as usual, I've made my point and I like to keep it short n' sweet. So watch this trailer and go pick it up on DVD. It's worth it.

Labels: blood, chainsaw, karate, kill bill, killers, kung-fu, leatherface, ninjas