Aka "18 Shaolin Disciples & "Killer Fists." I dig this chopsocky flick cause is super gimmicky. The protagonist is equipped with weapons called the "bloody birds"- a three bladed spinning device that can cut down trees (which the filmmakers never miss an opportunity to show it doing). The weapon is super cool and they also use a awesome sound effect every time its thrown. There's also chains with discs, chains with daggers, swords...yeah, its some weapon heavy shit.
Also, there aren't many slow spots in this one - it moves quickly. The production budget was obviously very low and cheap looking which makes it even funnier.
The body count is 60. Crazy badass shit. This cheap trailer cut for DVD release gives ya a nice lil sample...

Labels: asian, karate, kung-fu

This craziness just came out on proper DVD release. So let the silliness begin.

Martial Arts mixed with 80's gymnastics n' cheese makes for an over the top lame premise and that's I'm all about. Damn, I wish my 34 old ass saw at the theatre. That's how I know I'm not perfect.

This dude is a total douchebag. Check it out.It sucks cause I love lame shit and now I gotta drop 20 bucks on this classic trash DVD. But Gymkata rules my boring world...thank god.

Labels: asian, ass kickin, karate

Kick ass tagline: She purrs like a kitten...makes love like a siren. This side of the pacific, she is the meanest, deadliest and sexiest secret agent.

Directed by Filipino grindhouse master Bobby A. Suarez and starring the attractive Marrie Lee as the top policewoman Cleopatra Wong. Damn, this flick is the bomb with a fucky ass soundtrack!

As you can see by the theatrical poster (which I have framed in my bedroom cause I don't fuck around) this movie has all types of weapons. Guns, shotguns and bow n' arrows and that's freakin' AWESOME.This was followed up by a sequel titled Pay or Die which I'm still tryin' to find a copy of. Also, there's a new one in production now titled Vengeance of Cleopatra Wong. 30 years after the original! I hope they pull it off. In the meantime check out this:

Labels: action, asian, ass kickin, karate, kung-fu

Enter Jim "Dragon" Kelly! It's about time I stepped up n' dropped some afro kung-fu on this site. There's no better way to start than with Jim Kelly. Sure, he made a brief appearance in my last post, Mr. No legs, but Black Belt Jones showcases him nicely.

This suckas also directed by Robert Clouse. The mofo behind Enter The Dragon! And Black Belt Jones' got Scatman Crothers to boot.


It's the typical karate master against the mafia story here. Except here we get the Blaxploitation/ Martial Arts mix. Of course the soundtrack is as funky as a batch of collard greens with butter and a splash of hot sauce. BAM!

Just as you might expect - Mr. Jones kicks ass all up n' down the neighborhood car wash for the grand finale. Nice short-shorts.Yet another classic 70's Blaxploitation trailer with a great voice over...

Labels: 70s, afro, asian, ass kickin, blaxploitation, karate, kung-fu

MOTFG aka the sequel to the One Armed Boxer. Tagline: It's A Mean Machine - Cuts Your Head Off Clean!

That's right, I went for the kill today, you sexy MF's. It's the most classic grindhouse kung-fu flick, period. Written, directed and starring my main man Jimmy Wang Yu (I call him Jimbo) as the One Armed Boxer who must defeat the MOTFG who of course is also blind.

Non stop action, decapitations and the horrible chopsocky style dubbing that we've all grown to love. I won't watch a subtitled version of this. No fucking way.

Below is the Indian dude with really long arms. In fact, a handful of these characters were later ripped off by Capcom for the Street Fighter 2 video game.This sucka hits the gas from frame one and doesn't let the fuck up...so bow down to the original theatrical trailer!

Labels: action, asian, ass kickin, jimmy wang yu, karate, kung-fu

I'll get right to the point as usual. The best part of Chinese Hercules is the Hercules character, Bolo Yeung.

Bolo isn't the star of this movie. One would get confused since he's the main attraction. He isn't in the flick that much, but when he is it's waaay over the top!

A kung fu master (Chen Wei Min) works on a dock where the owner is a real prick. His main henchman is the Chinese Hercules and he a nasty motherfucker. He beats anybody that gets in his way including women! Eventually, the kung fu master decides he must try to fight back.

Yeah, it's gonna take a friggin' log to try and beat down the Chinese Hercules!I'm definitely not steering ya wrong what I say watch this trailer. It's gives ya all the good shit.

Labels: asian, ass kickin, bolo yeung, karate, kung-fu

Jimmy Wang Yu is the White Dragon. A one man wrecking crew with his steel spear aka "six feet of silver death."

Sure, Wang Yu has been in a ton of classics, but this one is solid on the trash scale. Bad dubbing, missing footage, scratchy transfer, wacky sound effects...blaze it up cause it's all here.

The White Dragon must save the Chinese nation from tyrannical destruction all by himself. The leads us to a strong 30 minute grand finale of Wang Yu spearing suckers to death. Zero dialogue in the second half, just killing. That's the way I like it!

When our hero spears an enemy through the chest they don't bother to make it look real. It's the obvious hold the spear under the armpit trick.

The White Dragon fights General Tai in the final battle with a shocking ending.Another noteworthy thing is the horrible 80's prog rock song in the opening credits. The band is called Flood and the song soooo doesn't fit in this flick!

Another ass kickin' trailer...strictly droppin' gems on y'all.

Labels: action, asian, ass kickin, bad dialogue, blood, jimmy wang yu, karate, kill bill, kung-fu, Shaw Brothers

What we got right here is a martial arts/ spaghetti western hybrid. That's right karate and gunplay together at last and fuckin' shit up! Starring Lee Van Cleef (The Good, The Bad and The Ugly) and Lo Lieh (Five Fingers of Death) both searching for the same treasure.

This is another film that influenced Tarantino, specifically a scene where the gunfighter reads a man a bible passage before killing him.
In one scene, Van Cleef autographs a chicks ass. I'm going to put that on my list of things to do before I check out. And of course, autographing a chicks ass comes right after I blow a line off her belly. Then and only then, I can say I lived.

Here's the karate choppin' gun shootin' trailer...catch y'all tomorrow with another piece of classic trash.

Labels: antonio margheriti, asian, karate, kung-fu, lee van cleef, Shaw Brothers, spaghetti western, tarantino

Queen of the Asian revenge film, Angela Mao is out to beat down the man who made her sister commit suicide. Angela is so lethal in this movie her look alone will make you piss your pants. I suggest wearing Depends or some other type of adult diaper when watching this film.

The distributors titled this film Deep Thrust to try and capitalize on the HUGE success of the XXX film Deep Throat. Those tricky bastards! Imagine being a kid thinkin' your about to enjoy a kung-fu movie and the next thing you know your watching a dude gettin' his knob slobbed. Ah... the good old days.

This also stars Sammo Hung (with a name like that he should've been in Deep Throat) as a bad guy and sure Sammo has a few tricks up his sleeve but he's no match for the Lady Whirlwind.
Shit, if I were a female MC, I'd go by Lady Whirlwind fo' sho! That's a badass name.

Okay, if you do anything today watch, no...listen to the announcer in this trailer for DEEP THRUST!

Labels: adult diapers, angela mao, asian, deep throat, films, karate, kung-fu, revenge, sammo hung